


A New World Order

by Goodluckdetective (scorpiontales)



Series: Caboose Siblings AU [2]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-01
Updated: 2015-06-01
Packaged: 2018-04-02 10:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4056421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiontales/pseuds/Goodluckdetective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Four Seven Niner and Caboose are related and nothing makes sense anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New World Order

**Author's Note:**

> Renaroo did some great fanart for this found here: http://renaroo.tumblr.com/post/121794130756/i-have-a-lot-of-pages-in-my-sketch-book-and-most

When it came to the Freelancer program, Wash could never sum up his feelings into words. He’d tried, he’d tried for years now to explain how the program rooted itself deep in his head and made a home there. He attempted to explain how twisted him into a man who screamed in his sleep, who barked orders like a dog, who shot someone he knew for years without blinking. There was just no easy way to put it. There was no way to make people understand.

However, if there was one descriptor that scratched the surface, it was “fucked up.” What else could he call a program that churned out soldiers whose first instinct, upon meeting old friends, was to hold up a gun with the full intent of having to possibly pull the trigger.

“Four Seven Niner,” Wash said, his voice light despite the loaded weapon in front of him. “It’s nice to see you.”

“You’re suppose to be dead.”

Ah. Just like old times.

At first, he had no idea it was her. Kimball just told him that there had been another ship crash, an army shuttle, brought down by the same forces that they thought they had shut down months ago. The small crew Wash had been out with, which included Carolina and Caboose, hadn’t expected any of the men on it to still be alive. And they sure hadn’t expected any of those men to be escaped prisoners. Or to be prisoners that he knew.

“Wouldn’t be the first time I defied government record,” Wash said, gesturing to the bright orange jumpsuit that she was wearing. “Gotta say, orange is a good color on you.”

“Shut up.”

It was weird, seeing her again like this, without the armor she usually wore. Well, without any armor whatsoever. Back during the project, their uniforms were almost like a second skin and Four Seven Niner had been no exception. Wash could only remember seeing her face a couple of times before the whole thing shut down. She looked almost the same give or take a few scars. She had the same square jawline, the same black hair tied up in a bun, the same plethora of freckles that decorated her face like paint splatter. It was only her eyes, a deep brown, that looked any different. The playful light that he remembered shining back at him was gone.

It was gone from his eyes too. And, to be honest, Wash wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen it grace Carolina’s.

“Put it down.” Speaking of Carolina, there she was, Church hovering on her shoulder. Wash saw Four Seven Niner’s grip on the gun tighten at the sign of the AI. “I mean it.”

Wash relaxed just a little. He’d been separated from the group when he stumbled upon his old teammate, and he wasn’t feeling quite up to talking his way out of this one. Talking down paranoid ex-special ops pilots seemed like a lot of work at the moment. Caboose wasn’t with her, which was probably for the best. Knowing the commander (and God, how Caboose kept that promotion was one of the world’s greatest mysteries) he had gotten himself distracted.

“What? So you can call command on me?” Four Seven Niner’s voice was still tense. She shook her head and a few strands of her hair fell out of her hair tie. “Don’t think so.”

Everything clicked into place. Four Seven Niner had no idea that the communications towers on Chorus were total shit. She thought that they were going to be dutiful soldiers and report her ass.

Even if the command towers were up, Four Seven Niner wouldn’t have to worry, Wash thought. He knew what it was like to be locked in prison without hope of escape. He’d gotten sent there for doing the right thing. Four Seven Niner had gotten sent there for putting her faith in the wrong people when everything came crashing down. Wash couldn’t fault her for that. He’d done the same thing at one point.

Wash raised his hands. It would be easier to convince Four Seven Niner that she was fine if he could just take off his helmet (facial expressions helped establish trust), but that would require sudden movements which was just a poor idea all around. “Hey. Hey. Listen. We’re not calling anyone. We can’t even reach command on this planet. All the com towers don’t work. Trust me we’ve tried. There’s not going to be any reporting anytime soon.” He lowered one hand and held it out. “If you lower the gun, we can just work this all out.”

Four Seven Niner’s lips turned into a slight frown before turning back into a flat expression. She jerked her head towards Carolina. “What? So the ghost of Christmas past can shoot me? I don’t think so.”

“Carolina’s not going to shoot you.”

“I make no promises,” Carolina said a beat later, her voice just as level and menacing as before. Wash was starting to remember why they always had York do the “talking down” jobs. Four Seven Niner was gripping the gun tight now, her palms almost white. Not good. Not good.

There was a long period of silence. Until, out of the middle of nowhere, a cheery bright voice shouted “Freckles!” shattering the tension entirely.  
So this was how he died, Washington thought. Shot by a terrified escapee because his teammate couldn’t keep his mouth shut. It seemed almost anticlimactic.

To his surprise, however, Four Seven Niner didn’t start shooting. Instead she dropped the gun entirely, letting it clash to the ground. Her eyebrows had vanished into her hairline. The pilot turned to the right to face Caboose, her eyes blown wide, her jaw hanging open. Caboose was being shockingly still for Caboose, his gun hanging at his side. Four Seven Niner opened and closed her mouth like a suffocating fish before speaking.

“Michael?”

Wash barely had time to be confused before Caboose rushed forward and grabbed Four Seven Niner in one of the most Caboose-ish hugs Wash had ever seen. The younger soldier wrapped his arms around the woman’s torso and lifted her up almost a foot in the air, spinning around a little. Four Seven Niner kept her arms at her sides, staring down at Caboose with an expression that was best described as flabbergasted. Caboose was talking at a rapid pace and Wash had to strain to hear it.

“I can’t believe it’s you Freckles. Mom said you’d stop sending letters and I was worried but then I remembered that you’re Freckles and you’d be fine and then I joined the army and drove a tank and-”

“Wash…” Wash glanced behind him. Carolina was standing near him now, her gun lowered. He couldn’t see her face because of the helmet, but Wash would bet money that she was just as confused as he was. “Do you have any idea what’s going on?”

“No fucking clue.”

Four Seven Niner wiggled her arms out of Caboose’s grasp. He didn’t seem to mind, keeping up the hug. She reached for his helmet and pried it off in one firm motion, letting it fall to the ground. Caboose had changed since Wash had first met him, he had more scars now, and he’d lost a bit of his ear in the original crash, but he still looked as young as ever. He grinned up at 479er and it made his freckles really stand-

Wait a second. Freckles. Black hair. Dark brown eyes. There was no way. It was impossible.

Or was it? Caboose had 17 sisters after all. One of them joining the armed forces wasn’t out of the cards. And Four Seven Niner had mentioned having a big family.

“Caboose,” Wash said slowly. “How do you know Four Seven.... I mean, Freckles?”

Caboose and Four Seven Niner looked at him like Wash was the dumbest man on the planet. Their expressions were almost identical. It gave Wash mental whiplash. “Freckles? Freckles is my sister. Oh yes.” He dropped Four Seven Niner at once, who almost lost her balance from being released from Caboose’s iron grip. Caboose took a formal stance, back straight, head high and gestured to Wash and Carolina. “Freckles, these are my friends Agent Washingtub, and Carolina.” He then gestured to Four Seven Niner.  “Agent Washingtub, Carolina, this is my big sister, Freckles.”

“We’ve met,” Carolina and Four Seven Niner said at the same time. Four Seven Niner turned to Caboose and frowned and reached forward to shove him. It didn’t do much, Caboose didn’t even sway, but her eyes narrowed. She poked him right in the chest.

“What the fuck are you doing in the Army, Michael! What about college?”

“I tried. I got the wrong building.”

“The wrong building!? Bull. Did Dad put you up to this? I swear to God-”

“Are we witnessing a Caboose family fight right now?” Wash said. His voice felt disconnected from his body. Hell, he felt disconnected from the ground that was underneath his feet. The world that had finally started to make sense had crumbled around him in less than five minutes.

“According to family records, yes,” Church cut in, appearing on Carolina’s shoulder. “Just looked it up. Four Seven Niner, real name Andromeda J. Caboose. Born on a moon colony, 15 sisters, one brother. And well, guess who that is…”

“I can’t believe it,” Carolina said. “You sure?”

“I checked like a hundred times.” Church wasn’t even being snarky. He sounded dead serious. “Trust me.”

Wash looked back to the Caboose siblings. They will still arguing, though it was rather one sided since Caboose didn’t seem to realize that it was an argument. From what little he could make out, it was a rant about Caboose’s status as a commander. It couldn’t be denied; those two were related. A freelancer pilot and an eccentric simulation soldier. There was only one phrase that came to mind. Wash cleared his throat.

“My whole life is a lie.”

 


End file.
